Random collection of things

Easter Sunday

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 19:49:55 GMT

When I was growing up Easter Sunday meant three things to me. First, that Lent and Holy week were over. Two, Jesus rose from the dead giving us the promise of every lasting life, hence the end of Lent and Holy Week. And three, the Easter Bunny brings baskets full of colored eggs, lots of chocolate, a new Easter outfit to wear to Mass, and lots of happiness.

This Easter brought me those three things as they have the last 46 years. Yes, my mom still gives her adult children Easter baskets and I buy myself an new outfit to wear to Mass. But this Easter also brought my mother back me. She has not voluntarily spoken to me since Karen’s funeral back in January. She would only speak if I spoke to her. Her belief has been that because of my “job” in Mental Health I should have, one seen what my sister was going to do, two stopped it and three fix my sister.

Mom has not been able to understand how unhappy and miserable Karen was. Karen did not want to change but felt everyone around her should change. Karen believed she should be allowed to do what ever she wanted no matter how much pain or unhappiness she caused others.

Mom now understands how this and that we hope and pray her soul is at peace. There is nothing no one could have done further to help Karen but Karen. You can keep throwing a life preserver to a drowning person but you can not make them save themselves. They have to want to save themselves or be willing to ask help.

Easter has always had a fourth meaning to me. It meant Spring when everything in the world rises from the dead of winter and comes back to life. Today my mother has found closure and for the first time in months we have felt like a family again. Since January it has felt as if my family has been dead and we are now like Spring coming back to life.

I hope the Easter Bunny has brought everyone out there lots of happiness today, along with peace and lots of love.

My sister Karen

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 22:46:57 GMT

Karen Marie

Sept 23, 1963 - January 15, 2009

For my sister Karen, a beautiful but broken soul. I love and miss you very much. I do not pretend to understand why, however I am beginning to accept and able to finally admit it happened.

Yes it is finally time to let go and move on.

If tears could build a stairway
and thoughts a memory lane
I'd walk right up to heaven
and bring you home again
No Farewell words were spoken
No time to say good-bye
You were gone before I knew it
And only God knows why.

My heart's still active in sadness
And secret tears still flow
What it meant to lose you
No one can ever know.
But now I know you want us
To mourn for you no more
To remember all the happy times
Life still has much in store.

Since you'll never be forgotten
I pledge to you today
A hallowed place within my heart
Is where you'll always stay.

God knows why, with chilling touch,
Death gathers those we love so much,
And what now seems so strange and dim,
Will all be clear, when we meet Him.
I Knew you for a Moment

I am not sure who the writer is. Who ever it is thank you.

Yes We Can and OH! Yes We Did!!!!!

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 01:13:44 GMT

Yes we can! Yes we did!

I am still on cloud nine!!! I just came from our post elections meeting for my counties Democratic Party. We have been busy partying the last two nights so we waited till tonight to review how everything went. I am having coffee with some of my friend's before heading home and just needed to post. I am finally able to put into words what Tuesday meant and means to me.

I have been a registered Democrat since I was 18 and extremely proud to say a Socially Liberal Democrat since I was 21. This is the first election that I have truly been excited about. I have always enjoyed working campaigns but this time it just felt different. This time working at Democratic HQ for our county there were more younger people volunteering than older people. The Young Democrats of our county got a lot of new members also more and more were proudly also wearing the sign of Socially Liberal. For those few of us Liberals who were out numbered by the Conservative Democrats we finally had a truly Liberal Democrat running for President. In 2007 Barack was considered the most Liberal of all the Democratic Senators.

I spent this Tuesday as I have every Election Day since I was 21 heading to work at the poles at 5 am. For the last 8 years I have been a pole watcher. Being a pole watcher you observe the Election Day procedures at your assigned pole and make sure that everything is done fairly. People who know me give me a hard time that once again the Democrats are not gonna pull it off. I just smile and tell them if they were smart they would step up and help make history. They would laugh and tell me to take my Liberal but home. Funny how people can make the word Liberal sound like a swear word. I just kept drinking Starbucks saying prayers, kept my fingers and toes crossed, checked CNN on my cell phone.

Finally it was over and time to head back to HQ and wait for the results. We all just hung out eating, watching the results and finally we get the call from the State Demo HQ we carried Ohio. Then at 11 CNN called it! WE DID IT!!!! WE WON!!!!

I have never been so proud of anything in my life, not only of myself and not giving into my younger brother and sister the Conservative Republicans that they are. Or my coworkers and friends who are also Republican and have been trying for ever to convert me since Bill ran for a second term. I refuse to go to the Dark Side. I will stop voting first. My friend Daniel says that I am closet Reganite.

I am most proud of my Southern family. My momma and her brothers all were raised in the deep South and all of them voted for Barack. My momma said the spinning noise is her daddy spinning in his grave. They never thought they would see this in their life time and all are in their 80’s but each have told me they are proud to have voted for him. Even though Louisiana went red.

I hope that when I am my momma’s age I will still be working on campaigns and I will be able to tell the young people I worked on the Obama campaign and that we will have elected more than one man and hopefully several woman and several different races the White House. Which reminds me maybe we need to give it a new name? Just a thought.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal….” Another is “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union.” We are still sadly a long way from this to truly mean that everyone in this country is created equal and is treated equally or that we are a Prefect Union but we took the first step towards it. After Tuesday anything and everything is now truly possible.

Edith Wharton's poem: All Souls

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 00:57:12 GMT

When I was a little girl I use to be more afraid of All Souls day than I was of Halloween. I always took All Saints Day in stride it just reminded me I was never gonna be good enough for the Pope to make me a Saint. However with All Souls Day my Louisiana cousins would remind me that it was a time when the dead came back to roam the earth, have a meal and visit with their family. I was terrified of my deceased relatives coming back for one night and roaming the earth. I use to lay awake at night waiting for them to show up. We read this poem my Freshman year in high school. It is one that I have added to my collection.

All Souls

by

Edith Wharton's

I

A THIN moon faints in the sky o'erhead,
And dumb in the churchyard lie the dead.
Walk we not, Sweet, by garden ways,
Where the late rose hangs and the phlox delays,
But forth of the gate and down the road,
Past the church and the yews, to their dim abode.
For it's turn of the year and All Souls' night,
When the dead can hear and the dead have sight.

II

Fear not that sound like wind in the trees:
It is only their call that comes on the breeze;
Fear not the shudder that seems to pass:
It is only the tread of their feet on the grass;
Fear not the drip of the bough as you stoop:
It is only the touch of their hands that grope--
For the year's on the turn and it's All Souls' night,
When the dead can yearn and the dead can smite.

III

And where should a man bring his sweet to woo
But here, where such hundreds were lovers too?
Where lie the dead lips that thirst to kiss,
The empty hands that their fellows miss,
Where the maid and her lover, from sere to green,
Sleep bed by bed, with the worm between?
For it's turn of the year and All Souls' night,
When the dead can hear and the dead have sight.

IV

And now they rise and walk in the cold,
Let us warm their blood and give youth to the old.
Let them see us and hear us, and say: "Ah, thus
In the prime of the year it went with us!"
Till their lips drawn close, and so long unkist,
Forget they are mist that mingles with mist!
For the year's on the turn, and it's All Souls' night,
When the dead can burn and the dead can smite.

V

Till they say, as they hear us--poor dead, poor dead!--
"Just an hour of this, and our age-long bed--
Just a thrill of the old remembered pains
To kindle a flame in our frozen veins,
A touch, and a sight, and a floating apart,
As the chill of dawn strikes each phantom heart--
For it's turn of the year and All Souls' night,
When the dead can hear and the dead have sight."

VI

And where should the living feel alive
But here in this wan white humming hive,
As the moon wastes down, and the dawn turns cold,
And one by one they creep back to the fold?
And where should a man hold his mate and say:
"One more, one more, ere we go their way"?
For the year's on the turn, and it's All Souls' night,
When the living can learn by the churchyard light.

VII

And how should we break faith who have seen
Those dead lips plight with the mist between,
And how forget, who have seen how soon
They lie thus chambered and cold to the moon?
How scorn, how hate, how strive, wee too,
Who must do so soon as those others do?
For it's All Souls' night, and break of the day,
And behold, with the light the dead are away. . .

-THE END-

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:47:25 GMT

My father spent the majority of his Air Force Career as the Flight engineer on B-52's. Today the Air Force lost one off the coast of Guam. This is for the air crew. I learned about the crash from reading CNN. I always thanked God whenever my dad's plane wheels touched down from where ever he had been safely. My heart goes out to the families of the airmen and I pray for the fallen airmen's souls.

High Flight

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
Up, up the long delirious, burning blue,
I've topped the windswept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or even eagle flew -
And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod
The high untresspassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand and touched the face of God.

Pilot Officer Gillespie Magee
No 412 squadron, RCAF
Killed 11 December 1941

Mahatama Gandhi

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 01:12:07 GMT

Although Mahatama Gandhi was in no way the originator of the principle of non-violence, he was the first to apply it in the political field on a huge scale.

"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall — think of it, always."

"What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty and democracy?"

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

"There are many causes that I am prepared to die for but no causes that I am prepared to kill for."

How life could have been different if MLK and RFK had not been killed.

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 01:02:21 GMT

Amid the tragedy of the assassination of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, April 4, 1968, an extraordinary moment in U.S. political history occurred as Robert F. Kennedy, younger brother of slain President John F. Kennedy, broke the news of King's death to a large gathering of African Americans in Indianapolis, Indiana.

Ladies and Gentlemen - I'm only going to talk to you just for a minute or so this evening. Because...

I have some very sad news for all of you, and I think sad news for all of our fellow citizens, and people who love peace all over the world, and that is that Martin Luther King was shot and was killed tonight in Memphis, Tennessee.

Martin Luther King dedicated his life to love and to justice between fellow human beings. He died in the cause of that effort. In this difficult day, in this difficult time for the United States, it's perhaps well to ask what kind of a nation we are and what direction we want to move in.

For those of you who are black - considering the evidence evidently is that there were white people who were responsible - you can be filled with bitterness, and with hatred, and a desire for revenge.

We can move in that direction as a country, in greater polarization - black people amongst blacks, and white amongst whites, filled with hatred toward one another. Or we can make an effort, as Martin Luther King did, to understand and to comprehend, and replace that violence, that stain of bloodshed that has spread across our land, with an effort to understand, compassion and love.

For those of you who are black and are tempted to be filled with hatred and mistrust of the injustice of such an act, against all white people, I would only say that I can also feel in my own heart the same kind of feeling. I had a member of my family killed, but he was killed by a white man.

But we have to make an effort in the United States, we have to make an effort to understand, to get beyond these rather difficult times.

My favorite poet was Aeschylus. He once wrote: "Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God."

What we need in the United States is not division; what we need in the United States is not hatred; what we need in the United States is not violence and lawlessness, but is love and wisdom, and compassion toward one another, and a feeling of justice toward those who still suffer within our country, whether they be white or whether they be black.

So I ask you tonight to return home, to say a prayer for the family of Martin Luther King, yeah that's true, but more importantly to say a prayer for our own country, which all of us love - a prayer for understanding and that compassion of which I spoke. We can do well in this country. We will have difficult times. We've had difficult times in the past. And we will have difficult times in the future. It is not the end of violence; it is not the end of lawlessness; and it's not the end of disorder.

But the vast majority of white people and the vast majority of black people in this country want to live together, want to improve the quality of our life, and want justice for all human beings that abide in our land.

Let us dedicate ourselves to what the Greeks wrote so many years ago: to tame the savageness of man and make gentle the life of this world.

Let us dedicate ourselves to that, and say a prayer for our country and for our people. Thank you very much.

Robert F. Kennedy - April 4, 1968

Just two months later, Robert Kennedy was gunned down during a celebration following his victory in the California primary, June 5, 1968.

I have fallen love with this speech.

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 23:57:31 GMT

After watching the movie "Bobby" again for the 100th time I have fallen in love with the speech Bobby Kennedy gave at the end.

City Club of Cleveland, Cleveland, Ohio April 5, 1968

Mr Chairmen,Ladies And Gentlemen

This is a time of shame and sorrow. It is not a day for politics. I have saved this one opportunity, my only event of today, to speak briefly to you about the mindless menace of violence in America which again stains our land and every one of our lives.

It is not the concern of any one race. The victims of the violence are black and white, rich and poor, young and old, famous and unknown. They are, most important of all, human beings whom other human beings loved and needed. No one - no matter where he lives or what he does - can be certain who will suffer from some senseless act of bloodshed. And yet it goes on and on and on in this country of ours.

Why? What has violence ever accomplished? What has it ever created? No martyr's cause has ever been stilled by an assassin's bullet.

No wrongs have ever been righted by riots and civil disorders. A sniper is only a coward, not a hero; and an uncontrolled, uncontrollable mob is only the voice of madness, not the voice of reason.

Whenever any American's life is taken by another American unnecessarily - whether it is done in the name of the law or in the defiance of the law, by one man or a gang, in cold blood or in passion, in an attack of violence or in response to violence - whenever we tear at the fabric of the life which another man has painfully and clumsily woven for himself and his children, the whole nation is degraded.

"Among free men," said Abraham Lincoln, "there can be no successful appeal from the ballot to the bullet; and those who take such appeal are sure to lost their cause and pay the costs."

Yet we seemingly tolerate a rising level of violence that ignores our common humanity and our claims to civilization alike. We calmly accept newspaper reports of civilian slaughter in far-off lands. We glorify killing on movie and television screens and call it entertainment. We make it easy for men of all shades of sanity to acquire whatever weapons and ammunition they desire.

Too often we honor swagger and bluster and wielders of force; too often we excuse those who are willing to build their own lives on the shattered dreams of others. Some Americans who preach non-violence abroad fail to practice it here at home. Some who accuse others of inciting riots have by their own conduct invited them.

Some look for scapegoats, others look for conspiracies, but this much is clear: violence breeds violence, repression brings retaliation, and only a cleansing of our whole society can remove this sickness from our soul.

For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay. This is the violence that afflicts the poor, that poisons relations between men because their skin has different colors. This is the slow destruction of a child by hunger, and schools without books and homes without heat in the winter.

This is the breaking of a man's spirit by denying him the chance to stand as a father and as a man among other men. And this too afflicts us all.

I have not come here to propose a set of specific remedies nor is there a single set. For a broad and adequate outline we know what must be done. When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies, to be met not with cooperation but with conquest; to be subjugated and mastered.

We learn, at the last, to look at our brothers as aliens, men with whom we share a city, but not a community; men bound to us in common dwelling, but not in common effort. We learn to share only a common fear, only a common desire to retreat from each other, only a common impulse to meet disagreement with force. For all this, there are no final answers.

Yet we know what we must do. It is to achieve true justice among our fellow citizens. The question is not what programs we should seek to enact. The question is whether we can find in our own midst and in our own hearts that leadership of humane purpose that will recognize the terrible truths of our existence.

We must admit the vanity of our false distinctions among men and learn to find our own advancement in the search for the advancement of others. We must admit in ourselves that our own children's future cannot be built on the misfortunes of others. We must recognize that this short life can neither be ennobled or enriched by hatred or revenge.

Our lives on this planet are too short and the work to be done too great to let this spirit flourish any longer in our land. Of course we cannot vanquish it with a program, nor with a resolution.

But we can perhaps remember, if only for a time, that those who live with us are our brothers, that they share with us the same short moment of life; that they seek, as do we, nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and in happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment they can.

Surely, this bond of common faith, this bond of common goal, can begin to teach us something. Surely, we can learn, at least, to look at those around us as fellow men, and surely we can begin to work a little harder to bind up the wounds among us and to become in our own hearts brothers and countrymen once again.

George Carlin- My favorite quotes

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 23:57:48 GMT

Think off-center.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam."

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

What year did Jesus think it was?

Swimming is not a sport; swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

You know what no one ever talks about anymore? Pussy farts.

We have to declare war on everything. We have the war on crime, the war on poverty, the war on litter, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. But did you ever notice, we got no war on homelessness? You know why? There's no money in that problem! No money to be made off of the homeless. If you could find a solution to homelessness where the corporate swine and the politicians could steal a couple of million dollars each, you'd see the streets of America begin to clear up pretty god-damned quick, I'll guarantee you that!

In the unlikely event of a water landing . . ." Well, what exactly is a water landing? Am I mistaken, or does this sound somewhat similar to CRASHING INTO THE OCEAN!?

..the baby boomers: whiny, narcissistic, self-indulgent people who's simple philosophy: 'GIMME THAT! IT'S MINE!'...these people were given everything, everything was handed to them, and they took it all, sold it all; sex, drugs, and rock and roll and they stayed loaded for 20 yrs and had free ride, but now they're staring down the barrel of the burnout, and they don't like it, they don't like it so they've become self-righteous, and they wanna make things hard for young people, they tell em abstane from sex, say no to drugs, as for Rock and Roll they sold that for television commercials a long time ago, so they an buy 'pasta machines', and 'stair masters', and 'soy bean futures'. you know something, they're cold, bloodless people. It's in their slogan 'no pain, no gain', 'just do it', 'play it hard', '***** happends, deal with it', 'get a life!'. These people went from 'do your own thing!' to 'just say no!', they went from 'love is all you need' to 'whoever has the most toys, wins!', and they went from 'cocaine' to 'rogaine' and you know something, they're still counting grams, only now it's fat grams! and the worst of it is we have to watch the commercials on tv for levis loose fitting jeans and fat ass docker pants because these degenerate, yuppie, boomer ***** suckers couldn't keep their hands off the croissants and the 'Haägen Dasz' and their big fat asses have spread all over and they have to wear fat ass docker pants. ***** these yuppies, and ***** everybody now that I think of it.

One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you’re too tired.

Life sucks

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 23:20:41 GMT

I have been walking around lately with a "life sucks and then you die" attitude. My illness is not improving and I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I go to work (I am down to 3 days a week right now because I have no engery) come home and go to bed because I just hate myself for being exhausted. I am so tired of being positive and trying to remain optimistic. I no longer speak to anyone outside of my immediate family because I am so negative about myself and my life. I am avoiding everyone and thing except for LJ. This only because I can write down my feelings.

I hate being this way! I am Therapist for crying out loud!!! But as my therapist reminded me depression can happen to anyone, anywhere. Therapist heal thy self. I know if a patient came to me with an attitude such as mine I would be working with them to move past this.

One thing I have learned from being on the other side of "the couch" is that it is easier said than done. When we tell people "Come on it is not that bad." "Just get out do something you will feel better" it really is not as easy as they tell us in undergrad and grad school. I know this is a life lesson and one thing I pray this will make me a better therapist. I know when the patient is sitting there saying "but you don't understand it really is harder than you think." I will remember how hard it was for me and be able to be more supportive and make those baby steps a little smaller.

My brother Joe sent me a quote of his and one of mine favorite comics. To make me laugh and just a reminder.

“Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty-five years and you pay it back and then -- one day -- you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then -- one day -- you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe.” Denis Leary quotes

I have to agree with Denis that God just allowing us to die because we feel our life sucks would just be the easy way out. Now where would be the fun in that? It could be worse but right now I don't see how it is ever gonna get better.

Writer's Block: To me, LiveJournal is...

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 01:30:34 GMT

What does LiveJournal mean to you? Has that changed since you started your LiveJournal account?

View 386 Answers

LJ means to me that I have a place to post all the crap and craziness rolling around in my head and heart. Some of it only makes sense to me. It is a way to communicate to my friends and family. To post my favorite poems or stories. It has become a window into me me. That can be scary.

LJ has changes thanks to mobile application. There have been times I have had wanted to post or read a post but was not near a computer. Now I can do so where ever I am.

Bi's request who always comes up something new and brilliant. :)

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 00:24:17 GMT

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
A.

2) What was your dream growing up?
A.

3) What talent do you wish you had?
A.

4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
A.

5) Favorite vegetable?
A.

6) What was the last book you read?
A.

7) What zodiac sign are you?
A.

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
A.

9) Worst Habit?
A.

10) If you saw me walking down the street, would you offer me a ride?
A.

11) What is your favorite sport?
A.

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
A.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
A.

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
A.

16) Do you have any pets?
A.

17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?
A.

18) What was your first impression of me?
A.

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A.

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
A.

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
A.

22) What color eyes do you have?
A.

23) Ever been arrested?
A.

24) Bottle or can soda?
A.

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
A.

27) What's your favorite place to hang at?
A.

28) Do you believe in ghosts?
A.

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A.

30) Do you swear a lot?
A.

31) Biggest pet peeve?
A.

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
A.

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
A.

35) Do you believe in God?
A.

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

A.

BSG & The Tudors withdrawal

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 22:51:10 GMT

I am already going through BSG & The Tudors withdrawal!!! How sad it that. It has been a week for the Tudors season final and 2 days for BSG mid season break. I just added all my teams (Dallas & Chicago, LSU & OSU) football schedule to my planner.

Not only am I counting down the days till Dragon Con in August but when my second favorite sport football begins.

Till the regular season starts (NO I do not count pre season they do not lead to bowl games or the Super bowl) is 61days for college and 84 days till the NFL begins. At least I will have 4 months of football to occupy me till BSG and the Tudors return.

Geaux Tigers!!!!!

Hey at least Dale Jr won today!!!!!!

Stress

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 20:39:56 GMT

Stress

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked
"How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 2 to 5 pounds.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight,but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued,

"And that's the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on "

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can."

So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.

Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.

Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply be kind to others.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today...I did

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, and Faith looks up!"

Guias Baltar

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 02:12:29 GMT

I love Battle Star Galactica. If you can not tell from my avi who my favorite character is it is Lee Adama and I love Jamie Bamber. My second favorite character has always been Guias. Only someone as narasitic as him would honestly believe he could help kill billions of people and honestly believe no one would really mind. He thought he could just say "Opps sorry about that I will try to never let it happen again." and go back about his merry way.

Last night had to be my favorite Guias moment. Trying to "convert" a Cylon Centurion. I was scrolling threw my Nano and found a song I had not heard in a while. It immediately made me think of the "I am wonderful, no one loves me like I do" Dr. Guias Baltar.

No matter what he does he still manages to have people love and follow him. Sure they may be as crazy as he is but he always ends up on top even with them. He even had a Cylon Centurion listening to his craziness. : D

Cult of Personality

Living Colour

Look into my eyes, what do you see?
Cult of personality
I know your anger, I know your dreams
I’ve been everything you want to be
I’m the cult of personality
Like mussolini and kennedy
I’m the cult of personality
Cult of personality
Cult of personality

Neon lights, a nobel prize
The mirror speaks, the reflection lies
You don’t have to follow me
Only you can set me free
I sell the things you need to be
I’m the smiling face on your t.v.
I’m the cult of personality
I exploit you still you love me

I tell you one and one makes three
I’m the cult of personality
Like joseph stalin and gandi
I’m the cult of personality
Cult of personality
Cult of personality

Neon lights a nobel prize
A leader speaks, that leader dies
You don’t have to follow me
Only you can set you free

You gave me fortune
You gave me fame
You me power in your god’s name
I’m every person you need to be
I’m the cult of personality
Look into my eyes, what do you see?
Cult of personality
I know your anger, I know your dreams
I’ve been everything you want to be
I’m the cult of personality
Like mussolini and kennedy
I’m the cult of personality
Cult of personality
Cult of personality

Neon lights, a nobel prize
The mirror speaks, the reflection lies
You don’t have to follow me
Only you can set me free
I sell the things you need to be
I’m the smiling face on your t.v.
I’m the cult of personality
I exploit you still you love me

I tell you one and one makes three
I’m the cult of personality
Like joseph stalin and gandi
I’m the cult of personality
Cult of personality
Cult of personality

Neon lights a nobel prize
A leader speaks, that leader dies
You don’t have to follow me
Only you can set you free

You gave me fortune
You gave me fame
You me power in your god’s name
I’m every person you need to be
I’m the cult of personality

Death, Be Not Proud

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 00:54:35 GMT

Death, Be Not Proud

John Donne

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;
For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.
Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell;
And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well
And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

What I love about texting.

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 23:54:21 GMT

This is in answer to a question from my therapist.

First since I can really on type left handed right now, the key board on my slide phone is perfect. Secondly what I love about text messaging is how convenient it is. For example, it gives me the chance to send a message to a friend about any random topic or thought I may have had. This way my friend will either remind me to talk to them about it later or we can chat about it now. Also, texting has helped me pass the time while waiting in Dr. offices (God knows I spend enough time at those) or when I am just simply bored. Its a great way for me to "talk" to people whenever I want. It's a quick and fun way to have a conversation, anywhere I go. I love how I can do it anywhere, anytime.

Thank God for LJ Mobile

Thu, 29 May 2008 01:16:11 GMT

I am still alive!!!! I think, some days it is hard to tell. : D This is a copy of the message I sent to Syl and Joe.

I am doing better. I can still see out of both eyes!!! : ) I still fear that when I go to sleep at night I will not be able to see when I wake up in the morning. I am working on this with my therapist. Will hopefully be past this by DC.

I still have the numbness and tingling in my right arm especially in my hand. I can still use it, it just takes it longer to respond. Doctor seems to think that the nerves are damaged and will take a while for the them to heal.

It makes it hard for me to type on a regular key board. I am worn out at the end of day at work from using the key board. I can thankfully use the key board on my slide phone so I am able to access face book, email and of course texting my new love. I can now access live journal on my phone also. If it was not for my phone and being to access these to communicate I would be going crazy.

I have been reading the thread it is just too frustrating to try to type with my left hand. I am a righty and that is the arm that is fraked up. I miss everyone and working hard to get well enough for DC. One of the nice things about stress and anxiety I am loosing weight even on the Cylon medication.

My insurance will not approve the Remicade (the medication Syl is on and she suggested I give it a try) even though my doctor was willing to try it. They want me to try Prednisone, Methotrexate and Benicar first. I started them today. I also started Levoxyl for my thyroid. From one Cylon med to 4! Oh well as long as it works.

To all the bunnies and Jacks I miss y'all terribly and love the post I have read. I love the pics and discussion of the episodes.

XOXOXO

Tina

Battlestar Galactica Video

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 02:24:49 GMT

My beautiful friend Michelle

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 20:31:30 GMT

My on-line friend died today. Michelle like me had Sarcoidosis. She died last night in her sleep from Cardiac Sarcoidosis. She started with Pulmonary Sarcoidosis 10 years ago. Then it moved into Neuro Sarcoidosis. The course of my disease has been just like hers, as she pointed out to me once. She also was only 4 years older than me.

Michelle was the one on our thread who always asked “How did it go at the doctors today?” “When is your next appointment?” “How are your symptoms day?” “How was your treatment?” “Did you remember to take your meds?” “So and So is really having a hard time please send them an e-mail.” She was always the first to let the rest of us know when someone was doing badly or they had died. She was the momma of the screwy sarcoids bunch.

Michelle is the 4^th person I know who has died from Sarcoidosis. It makes me wonder about mine. How much longer do I have? It makes me remember how serious this disease really is. That one day I will more than likely die from this.

Michelle once asked on our thread to consider this question.

If I died today would anyone really even care?

I responded with this. First you are dead and will not even know who really cares you are gone. You have to hope in your heart that those who love you now and are the closest too you will. Those who truly love you and care for you will miss you. They will find their life a little emptier, and sadder that you are no longer there.

For my beautiful friend Michelle I miss you already and know that no one will touch my life the way you have.

“…when you fully understand that each day you awaken could be the last you have, you take the time that day to grow, to become more of who you really are, to reach out to other human beings.”

-- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, Death The Final Stage of Growth

do not stand at my grave and weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

The Sarcoids can not follow you. You are well again my friend.

Enjoy the feeling of being healthy again.

I really need to vent

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 00:01:40 GMT

It is just the same old, same old with momma. The only way she is going to get better is when she is finally gone from us. She has pneumonia and the cancer in her spine is making it hard for her to walk. She does best just sitting in her overstuffed recliner (Which is really hard for her to get out of) but I feel her time is limited let her live how she wants too. Like anything is gonna make a difference now.

I am going to see our attorney tomorrow night and applying for guardianship of both my parents. It is getting harder to do business or take care of their affairs. We are also reviewing their wills to make sure everything is the way it needs to be.

Excuse me while I state the things that really get under my skin and make me wish I could just shove people out an air lock.

1) Momma's doctors. "It could be any time, hours, days, weeks or months. There is nothing else we can do for her. " When asked how much longer. I am sorry I love her but I feel like a hostage sometimes and then I feel guilty for feeling this way.

2) Well meaning family and friends. "Hang in there" "It will get better sweetie." "God is not ready for her yet" "Is there anything else the doctors can do?" "I am sure if you just pray harder." "She still looks good." "She doesn't look that sick." "If you need anything let me know." but when we call they are too busy. "Remember sweetie don't be angry with God none of this is his fault."

3) "Oh today is your birthday? Sucks having to be in the hospital." The nurse's admitting her today. What is there some fraking law against going in the hospital on your birthday?

Today when I got my nanny out it hit me that Ohio has been canceled. No bunnies or Jamie. It was the one positive thing I was looking forward too. I had the days counted down on my cell and had gone shopping for all new outfits to wear. I was really looking forward to hugs from all the bunnies who were coming but from Jamie also.

I miss y'all and will be back when I can. Thank y'all for reading.
I love y'all and so grateful for each one of you.
Tina

Disney Girl

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 22:20:03 GMT

Find Out Which Disney Girl You Are!
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Belle

Dancing furniture, singing spoons, and a man who needs a serious haircut - sound familiar? Well it should! Belle was a very independent spirit with alot on her mind, much like you are! But in life, there is a needed balance - learn when to speak your mind, and when to hold it back. Sometimes offending someone isn't the best way to go!

Belle

96%

Jane

88%

Pocahontas

83%

Jasmine

67%

Violet

58%

Snow White

58%

Cinderella

58%

Ariel

50%

Aurora (Sleeping Beauty)

46%

Alice

42%

Tinkerbell

42%

Esmerelda

38%

Megara

38%

Mulan

17%

Ozymandias

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 21:53:08 GMT

Ozymandias

by Percy B. Shelley

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive (stamped on these lifeless things),
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal these words appear:
'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings;
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Kubla Khan

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 21:51:09 GMT

Kubla Khan

by Samuel Taylor Coleridge

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree:
Where Alph, the sacred river ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.
So twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round:
And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;
And here were forests ancient as the hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.

But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover!
A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,
A mighty fountain momently was forced:
Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst
Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail,
Or chaffy grain beneath the thresher's flail:
And 'mid these dancing rocks at once and ever
It flung up momently the sacred river.
Five miles meandering with a mazy motion
Through wood and dale the sacred river ran,
Then reached the caverns measureless to man,
And sank in tumult to a lifeless ocean:
And 'mid this tumult Kubla heard from far
Ancestral voices prophesying war!
The shadow of the dome of pleasure
Floated midway on the waves;
Where was heard the mingled measure
From the fountain and the caves.
It was a miracle of rare device,
A sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice!

A damsel with a dulcimer
In a vision once I saw:
It was an Abyssinian maid,
And on her dulcimer she played,
Sining of Mount Abora.
Could I revive within me
Her symphony and song,
To such a deep delight 'twould win me,
That with music loud and long,
I would build that dome in air,
That sunny dome! those caves of ice!
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, 'Beware! Beware!
His flashing eyes, his floating hair!
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise.'

Invictus

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 21:49:14 GMT

Invictus

by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years,
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.